I love Friday.

I just really love Friday.  I love coming to the end of a school week.  I love heading into the weekend.  I love staying up later and letting the kids stay up a little later too.  I love making pizza, and we almost have it every Friday.  I like cleaning my house---and this is a cleaning day for me.  I just love Fridays!

Potty Training

I am barely surviving potty training........

--can't go anywhere that doesn't have a toilet within 10 yards running distance

--can't have a conversation without saying, "Excuse me, I have to run her to the potty."

--I just really don't love cleaning up accidents

--cold weather clothing just doesn't always come off fast enough

You could say that this is my own fault for choosing to potty train my 20 month old during the cold weather.  But I have really had no choice.  Last week she started potty training herself, stripping down the clothes and not quite making it to the potty.  Saying she needed to go, and then REALLY doing it when I took her.  She basically was demanding that now was the time.  And so we venture into the realm of potty training.  You would think that after 6 kids I would be a master.  I do have my tried and true methods..........but it is NEVER easy!  I just like getting out too much : )

Some tried and true methods I have found from potty training 6 (boys and girls)

*There is something to be said about waiting until they are "ready".

*"Ready" to me is being able to communicate enough to tell you they need to go, and having some desire.  I had a very early talker that took forever to potty train to "fool proof".  I also had a 2 1/2 year old who couldn't talk at all and potty trained to "fool proof" in one day.  Don't wait too long though.  "Ready" means THEY are ready, not YOU.  Sometimes if you miss the window, you could have a battle of the wills with an older child.  I like to potty train at age 2- 2 1/2 ish.  Some I have done a little later, and some a little earlier....

*I aim for SUMMER---clothes are much easier on and off in this season.  If you don't believe me, try it.  As you see, I don't always potty train in summer, but I definitely prefer it.

*Block out 2 weeks of time.  Some will be faster, and some S L O W E R, but you pretty much have to not go out too much for too long during this time.

*As silly as it seems, I always do the bare bum method the FIRST day.  They wear a shirt but nothing else.  This expedites recognizing potty time faster than anything.  If you put underwear on them the first day, they will pee right through them.  

*Pull-ups do NOT work.  Kids are smarter than that.  They realize very quickly that it works just like a diaper.  As much as you don't want wet undies, that is the best way.

Lioness at the Gate

Mothers need empowering every so often.  This message was empowering to me.

Here is a direct cut from a speech given by Julie B. Beck at this year's BYU Women's Conference.  No matter your religion, these are powerful words:

(For the full text go here)

"I have said lately that women are like lionesses at the gate of the home. Whatever happens in that home and family happens because she cares about it and it matters to her. She guards that gate, and things matter to that family if they matter to her. For example, if the lioness at the gate believes in the law of tithing, tithing will be paid in that family. If that family has a humble little portion of ten pesos coming in, that lioness will safeguard the one peso if tithing is important to her. If that lioness at the gate knows about renewing her baptismal covenants with God, she will be in sacrament meeting on Sunday, and she will prepare her children to be there. They will be washed, cleaned, combed, and taught about that meeting and what happens there. It isn’t a casual event, but it is serious to her, and it will be serious to them. The lioness at the gate ensures that temple worship is taken care of in the family. She encourages that participation. She cares about seeking after her ancestors. If the lioness at the gate knows about and understands missions, missionaries, and the mission of the house of Israel, she will prepare future missionaries to go out from that home. It is very difficult to get a lion cub away from a lioness who doesn’t believe in missions, but if the lioness believes in a mission, she will devote her life to preparing the cub to go out and serve the Lord. That’s how important she is. Service happens if she cares about it.

Sisters, you are each like the lioness at the gate. This means that there has to be some prioritizing. I was taught years ago that when our priorities are out of order, we lose power. If we need power and influence to carry out our mission, then our priorities have to be straight.

Years ago I began using a system that works for me, and maybe it will work for you. There was a time when I needed to prioritize, and in one of those sacred meetings between me and the Lord, He gave me three categories that I have worked from, and they have been a guide in my life. The categories are the essential things, the necessary things, and the nice-to-do things. I started writing those things down. I asked, “What has to go in the category of essential?” What things must be taken care of, and if I don’t take care of them, the blessings of eternal life won’t be mine nor will they be my family’s.

I wrote at the top of the essential list revelation. I have to be able to know the mind and will of God. Therefore, I have to do the things in my life that put me in a position to hear His voice. Reading the scriptures then became an essential for me because the scriptures contain the mind and will of God, and by reading and studying from them, I can hear His voice and receive His guidance in all aspects of my life. I came up with a simple rule that was easy for me to keep: Every day I will spend some time in the scriptures. The accumulative power and learning of that commitment has changed my life and helped me learn daily the mind and will of God.

Personal prayer took on new meaning when I knew that I needed to know the mind and will of God. I have taken a paper and pencil with me most of the time since then to my prayers. I don’t always receive an answer or instruction, but I am ready. I want to be ready to learn what the Lord would have me do in my day. Who needs my help? How can I increase my faith this day? How can I strengthen my family? What things do I need to correct in order to be worthy to receive His Spirit? He will tell me.

Taking time to ponder and fast with sincerity took on added meaning when I knew that revelation was an essential for me. Making covenants and keeping covenants is on the essential list. Going to sacrament meeting and repenting every week took on added meaning. Going to the temple and fulfilling that responsibility frequently became an essential. Sharing the gospel is something the Lord tells us is an essential, and we are charged as part of the house of Israel to share that message. I need to open my mouth and find ways to share and express my testimony. Service took on added meaning. The Lord said if you want eternal life, give all that you have and follow me.⁴ So those things went on my essentials list. The list wasn’t very long, but there were essential things that I could see to and make sure that they were taken care of.

On my necessary list, then, went some other things. I started thinking about my home and family and what was necessary to create an environment or climate where the Spirit of the Lord would be. There were some necessary things to take care of. Homemaking took on a new meaning for me. I wanted to make a home where the Spirit of the Lord was present. That meant that even mundane tasks like picking things up and cleaning, became necessary to keep a house of order. I wanted to model my house after the temple. Though that is the ideal, it has never been that perfect. We have to live there after all. A house is peopled with people. People make messes, and we can’t be little soldiers, but it made a difference to me to know that I wanted a house of order. It became a priority to make a place where the Spirit of the Lord could come.

Cooking meals for my family took on added meaning because I needed a place to teach and gather and have the Lord’s Spirit there. It was important to invest my effort in making a home.

At one time I was going through some challenges, and one of my daughters came home from school and put another item on my necessary list. I said, “I don’t feel like I’m contributing what I should or what I could,” and she said, “You could smile. Mother, you could smile.” I thought, “That is a great service.” Smiling took on added meaning for me. Being happy around my family and other people was necessary.

I learned some things from the scriptures—that it is necessary to teach my children to pray and walk uprightly before the Lord. Things like family home evening and time recreating with our family became more necessary and more important. I thought more about my husband and supporting him, and I studied Doctrine and Covenants section 25, in which the Lord tells Emma Smith to be a comfort to her husband with consoling words and a spirit of meekness.⁵ That took on more importance, and it was more necessary to me to be kind to my husband and to support him in his heavy responsibilities. I also learned from that section in verse 10 to “lay aside the things of [the] world, and seek for the things of a better,” to not ask him to provide things for me we couldn’t afford but value the things that were important for our family—to “seek for the things of a better” and not be tantalized by “the things of the world” that were glamorous. Becoming self-reliant became more important to me.

I have been reviewing Elder Hales’s words in his talk on provident living and self-reliance about debt.⁶ When we go into debt, we give away some of our precious, priceless agency and place ourselves in self-imposed servitude. As our freedom is diminished by debt, increasing hopelessness depletes us physically, depresses us mentally, burdens us spiritually. Our self-image is affected, as well as our relationships with our spouse and children, with our friends and neighbors, and ultimately with the Lord.

Becoming self-reliant temporally affects our spiritual self-reliance, and we are going to need to be more temporally self-reliant in the days to come in order to have strong spirits and help the Lord.

Loving one another goes on the necessary list and a few other things. You can make your own list of what is necessary, but there are things that are essential and things that are necessary in order for us to fulfill our responsibilities in the house of Israel and to fulfill our mission.

The third category has to do with the nice-to-do things. Those are crafts and hobbies and recreational reading and movies and travel and lunches with friends. A lot of women call this “time out.” These things won’t save us. They add variety to our lives, but they won’t save us. When our priorities are on that list, and our time is devoted to those nice-to-do things, our priorities are out of order, and we lose power.

To walk with the Lord, we have to know what is essential, what is necessary, and what is nice to do. There is a lot to do, but I find that it is amazing how much I get to do on my nice-to-do list. The Lord blesses us with those mercies, but only if the other priorities are in order."

Release

We released the butterflies! We were (or maybe just me?) a little sad to send them off, but it was so fun. They flittered off to our flowers, and some stayed around. We had 11. It was such a fun summer project. I would definitely recommend it!

Summer!

First day of summer was yesterday! Have you written down your Summer Bucket List?

A mom has to be prepared.

Not only is summer a time to throw schedules out the window, it is a time of project doing, craft making, exploring, and learning (don't tell the kids!). I have my own personal mile long list of project "to do's". But this year I made a family fun list too, things we definitely want to do before summer's end.

We ARE NOT summer schoolers at this house. But we LOVE some fun projects. Here are some things I thought would keep my kids entertained this summer:

• We are raising Painted Lady Butterflies, the caterpillars have double quadrupled their size this week. It is absolutely amazing. One (out of 8) started his cocoon today. All ages (even me!) love checking on the caterpillars several times through the day.
• Got a jumprope making kit--makes 6 I think. You get to choose your own colors of beads and pattern to make your jump rope--the beaded kind you had back in elementary school, but this one is CUSTOM patterned by each child. And then of course, we will have to have jump competitions throughout the whole summer! www.ssww.com (fun stuff here)
• We are using plaster of paris to make stepping stones, and decorating them with glass, pebbles, jewels--making a mosaic design. We need some stepping stones for the garden, so everyone gets to personalize one.
• planted a garden---always fun things to explore here every day. How do those seeds grow so fast?
• and then I let the kids brainstorm some more things that they would like to do this summer--camp, roast marshmallows, a baseball game, swimming with friends, do paintings, sprinklers, cousins, and more! We have pinned down one day each week as the fun project day. The other days will be fun filled to, but some with summer work! At least this way, we do something fun each week.

Write it down. From experience---the things that get written down get done! Make your own summer bucket list today!

Note about old beans

Today our church "family" had a potluck soup dinner after church.  I was out of town until Saturday evening, and so I needed to whip up a soup from ingredients I had at home without a shopping trip.

Chili......that would be easy enough.  I have lots of pintos, ground beef in freezer, tomato sauce, and even some onions and peppers in the fridge.  No problem.  I got the beans soaking on LOW in my crock pot on Saturday night, took the ground beef out of the freezer, and got to bed.  

As the sun was rising this morning, I chopped and threw together the soup.  One of the glories of the crock pot is quick prep for a usually delicious meal.

As I checked my soup at about 7:00 am, the beans were still crunchy, even after soaking all night.  No big deal, there would be another good 5 hours for them to soften up deliciously during church on high.

Fast forward to 1:00.  My son chooses to eat my soup from the other 20 crock pot choices.  He says it is disgusting.  Lovely......

I say, "Let me try it," and sure enough, it is!  The beans are crunchy!  Oh no, how many people have nicely smiled through eating this soup?  I hope for the best that most will have NOT chosen my soup.  But sure enough, the crock pot is half empty (but not EMPTY!) at the end.  I tell my husband to hurry and grab it when the dinner is over, and get it out to the car.  The fewer people that know it was mine, the better!

No big deal, we will just keep it simmering and have a great evening meal for us.  

Fast forward to now, 7:00 pm.  The beans are STILL CRUNCHY.  I used some old pinto beans passed on to me from my mother's food storage.  So they probably have a good 20 years to them.  Beans do store well.

BUT, apparently they take much longer than 24 hours to turn soft.  Those beans just might be making into BEAN BAGS instead!

DMV report--survived

We (me + 6) survived the DMV yesterday.  Survived is a relative term, of course.  We walked in at 11:47.  The room was brimming full already.  I couldn't decide when would be the best time for me to show up with 6 children, so this is the time I chose.  One of the bi-products of educating your children at home is taking them everywhere with you : )

We walked in casually, drew a number--107, and I quickly glanced up at the counter, serving #80.  Not too bad, I can handle 26 waits.......

The trick was finding a place to sit.  There just weren't any rows of 7 seats available, so we quickly took the row of 4 consecutive seats.  I take that back--we all went to the bathroom first to prepare for the wait.  I held baby, and two brothers held the other two under 4 years old.  Within five minutes, they had served #81, #82, #83, and #84.  

"This won't be bad," I thought.

But amazingly, three clerks disappeared, probably for their lunch breaks since the room was full of waiting people.  The remaining counters started serving other number sequences like #482, #483, #484--I figured those were for the people who pulled from the Spanish ticket dispenser.  But the there was the #297, #298, #299--where did they get their tickets???  It was at least 30 minutes before a counter resumed with #85, for my line.  

At the 40 minute mark, I pulled out the emergency resources--fruit snacks and granola bars.  Great idea until the two year got sticky peanut butterish stuff all over her fingers from the granola bar---and the wipes were MISSING from my diaper bag.  No big deal, we will use the burp rag.

"You have well behaved children," the lady beside me says.

"Thank you," I say, as my face is getting warm with stress.

Of course she is the first also to say, "I spoke too soon," when my four year old yanks my ipod away from his brother to play shopping cart hero.  I smile again at her.....

At the hour mark, we are all getting restless, adults included.  I pull out pens and paper.  By this time, my one year old is laying on her stomach, on the DIRTY floor coloring in my planner.  But this is somehow OK to me at the 67 minute mark at the DMV.  My standards have lessened a bit, and all I require of them is to stay within our 4 seat area, and to be quiet.  They are still be good, considering......

My number, #107,  is called at 1:15.  We have almost made it.  I look in the eye machine, sign the paper, up my weight from 3 licenses ago, and get my picture snapped--all within 2 minutes.

And we are out of there, without any crying!

Getting Older

I think there is a certain age when you stop aging...................in your own mind, anyway.  I have passed that age I think.  Recently a friend of mine, much younger, saw my driver's license and said, "You look so young in that picture!"

My immediate thought was, "Are you serious?  I think I look JUST LIKE that picture."  But instead, I just smiled.  The fact is, I really do think I look just like the picture.  How could this happen?  It isn't my 16 year old license, and it wasn't even taken THAT many years ago.

Well, today I venture to the DMV with all of my six children.  I have packed emergency bribes in my diaper bag for what could be a VERY long wait to renew my license.........which will entail a new picture.  Uggggghhhhhhh..........today I will see how old I really look : )

How did this stuff get in here?

Hall Linen/first aid/light bulbs/EVERYTHING closet

How did these things get here?  I think my talent at closet stuffing is near perfect.  I have no idea how all the things currently on my hallway floor came out of the closet.  Here are some things that will NOT be going back in.

• too many old sheets, but that was expected
• instructional DVD to our thermostat--you think we watched it?
• the OLD thermostat, did we think the new one wouldn't work?
• instructional VHS for the past pool vacuum?????
• bed wetting alarm kit?  thanks for leaving that mom!
• light bulbs to our OLD chandelier, won't fit anything here now
• electric blanket cords, but no blanket
• closet hardware to before said gone closet
•  product manuals for the sink, microwave, stovetop, oven, lawn mower +spare key (which I will be keeping), pool vac, and more
• bottle of caulk
• quite a few bottles of contact solution--did I mention I had Lasik 2 years ago?
• old eye drops
• empty prescription bottles
• crystallized wart medicine
• expired medicine
• must I go on????  

My name is Melissa, I am a "Hoarder."

Moms of many have to be organized.  I get this, I try this, and I keep trying at this.  Because I want and have a large family, I need to keep it all managed and working like a well-oiled machine---or at least have the machine working : )

I imagine myself to be Ellen O'Hara, the mother and gracious mistress of the O'Hara plantation in Gone With the Wind.  She keeps all in order, and tends to everyone with great sensitivity--you would have to read the book to get the vision.

My recent efforts in trying to get this machine oiled and moving smoothly are an all-over de-cluttering effort.  You can call it "stream-lining," "de-cluttering," "purging,"--it just depends on which book you have read about it lately.  I have read quite a few of them.  The methods are all the same, but it is the actual application that can be painful for me.  

I have been stealthily observing all of my "born-organized" friends for pointers.  The number one common denominator that they all share is LESS THINGS.  Amazing thought, if I have less things, there is less to stir around in my house.........

I am realizing that I am a "Hoarder."  Aaaaahhhhhh......I just don't even like to call myself that.  Let's call it---Resourceful, prepared, crafty, DIYer, etc.  But in my de-cluttering efforts, I am realizing the "hoarder" term is applicable, and I AM BEATING IT DOWN!

I have been ravaging through my clutter for a solid four weeks now.  This is different than my regular, constant, house cleaning.  This is different than my usual re-organization projects.  This time I am getting rid of things for good : )  Here is a list of some random things that have been filling my dumpsters or the goodwill bags lately  (maybe it will help someone like myself):

• Christmas cards and pictures (in an organized file, or course) from friends and family for the past 10 years!
• dozens of quart jars filled with plum sauce and grape juice and cherry something that my mom canned in '92 and gifted to me---and for those of you thinking the 90's were just yesterday, like I do--It has almost been 20 years!
• wedding announcements and pics of friends who married at least 10 years ago
• 3 1/2 floppy computer disks--dozens of them  (my computer that read these beat them out the door)
• clothing that hasn't fit after any of the past 6 babies---and not stylish enough to let out the door anymore if it did : )
• 2 of three humidifiers
• Christmas bows saved for years
• old make-up
• old toys
• old shoes
• crib bedding I made for my first child, that I have not been willing to use since, but also not willing to get rid of--I swear, the cartoon Noah's ark animals WERE cute back then.
• gallons of emergency water storage that when poured out last week smelled like DEATH
• boxes boxes and more boxes
• software disks to my past computers and printers even though I don't have them anymore
• yeast vitamins for dogs--which my dog refuses to eat
• my college essays from so many classes--like throwing away a child......
• file and files and files of teaching ideas---Thank you Google!
• old press on nails
• old medicine
• old fish tank, still have a spare for "found" creatures
• hand me down clothes---still have lots, but don't need them all!
• holy socks living in the sock basket : )
• broken closet doors 
• juice glasses that I received for my wedding, still haven't used or ever liked
• George Foreman that makes 1 hamburger--we are so past that!
• plastic containers---these are always breeding in my cupboard
• old candles that I can't stand the smell of 
• glass bread making thing-a-majig
• earrings that have been looking for their matches for quite a long time
• old toothbrushes
• size 1 diapers that won't hold anything--so I never use them
• old purses
• tape cassettes, oh so many of these
• broken lamp
• tangled curly ribbon
• old paint cans with drying out paint
• old keys to the house, locks have been changed : )
• manuals to the water heater, pool filter, stove top, etc----that existed BEFORE the remodel of this house
• old knives--just got a new set
• my broken camera
• my old computer
• my other old camera
• old camera software and peripherals
• cords to unidentifiable techno gadgets
• falling apart books
• dead watches
• leaky sippy cups
• kitchen gadgets that never get used
• mixing bowls #10, 11, 12, 13 ,14 ,15
• stretched out swim suit
• nylons
• stained clothing
• magazines and magazines and magazines
• ripped out pages of magazines with "good" ideas--thank you again Google!

This list will have to be continued later................my responsibilities are calling me!  I still have much to do, and more to de-clutter!!!!!

Being a MOM

I was looking into these blue eyes this morning, just loving the moment.  I may not ever get to use the bathroom alone, quilt whenever I want to, sleep by myself most nights, cook dinner without someone on my leg or on my hip, but I love being a mom!

I just squeezed and loved and hugged this little bundle this morning.  They grow up too fast.  I love a warm cheeked baby when they have just woken up with a big smile.  Enjoy the moment today!  Hug your little ones, and love them.

You may even have "daughters" or "sons" that you haven't birthed, and who are just as precious.  I spent 30 minutes on the phone this morning with one of those "daughters" of mine. I care for her like my own daughter.  I feel Heavenly Father's SO STRONG love for her----I am just one of the funnels for it, His hands here.  Parenting doesn't just happen within the walls of your own home always.  So many are taught by your example and love every day.  As women, we are "mothers" to many.  Thanks to all of you out there!

Liquid Messes

My children are sick again.  It is really disgusting that I haven't posted anything on this blog since the last time my children were sick.  My children really don't get sick that often.  We seem to be a fairly healthy crowd, but this winter has been a whopper.  Since the beginning of December we have been tackling the green nose river and cough.  No one had it especially long, but after going through 8 people, it can take 8 weeks----the past two months.

Just yesterday, I thought, "I think we are finally healthy."  I hadn't even wiped a nose for two days.  The weather was amazingly warm (for January) in the 50s, and I opened up ALL of the windows in my house.  Out with the bad air, and in with the fresh air.  It was wonderful, and the house felt so fresh and spring-like.   

Fast forward to 4:00 am this morning.  My six year old comes running into our room to tell me that he doesn't feel good, just in time to project from the mouth all over my carpet.  Yuck!  Well, the day had to get going some time, right?  

We have been dealing with him fairly well today, and bleaching everything.  He has been sick from the other end as well.  How on earth can we be cycling through another flu bug?  Or are we on the same one again?

Eight hours later, now my two year old went running to the toilet.  She has been fully potty trained for almost a year, but sickness is something else.  Lets just say things exploded all over the floor before getting to the toilet.  Who cleans up these messes?  I looked around for volunteers, and found out it was me : )  

I just have to laugh about it.  Thank goodness for paper towels, bleach, bleach, and febreeze!

I must apologize if anyone is actually reading this.  I know it is absolutely disgusting.  Couldn't I have any other inspiring mother stories this winter besides sickness??????  

I just don't want to forget these times when they are gone.  And this is a bit of a stress reliever for me after being pinned in the sick house for two months!!!!!!!

If anyone else out there has sick kids this winter, you aren't alone!